I don't know... really.
What hath I wrought, to get such an experience in life and then lose it forever? Like Gulliver, living in utopia for all those years and coming back to the part dystopian English world, like the illustrious Julius Caesar, like countless others who have had great experiences only to lose it later on. Why do a few misunderstood words define a lifetime over months of friendship? It is like you give a child a toy, only to take it back and break it while he's watching. Like when you get a dog a bone, and then burn it as he watches on. What is it about friendships that makes them the way they seem to be to me? Why do they have an intensive period followed by a cooling off period before the breaking apart and drifting away period? Am I really that boring to be around? Am I not to be trusted at all?
This, is one big question that has kept me up a lot of nights, trying to come up with ways to not be a bore, thought processes on why some people have a really good bonding, on why others don't. Above all, it is a want for a friend that talks to me because he/she they want to, not because they don't have anyone else to talk to.
Now I know this doesn't actually qualify as a *quote*post*quote*, but I treat this blog as a private retreat where I can classify my thoughts and let a select few into them.
This, is one big question that has kept me up a lot of nights, trying to come up with ways to not be a bore, thought processes on why some people have a really good bonding, on why others don't. Above all, it is a want for a friend that talks to me because he/she they want to, not because they don't have anyone else to talk to.
Now I know this doesn't actually qualify as a *quote*post*quote*, but I treat this blog as a private retreat where I can classify my thoughts and let a select few into them.
You know, this is the time for making B.F.F.’s - your teens and early twenties. When you get older, you resign yourself to K.O.F.’s (kind of friends). But it can happen only if you are unafraid to be vulnerable, open, authentic… unafraid of being hurt.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon a post recently:
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/style/modern-love-sometimes-its-not-you-or-the-math.html.
I liked the last paragraph, I think it equally applies to finding friendship:
“Did we find love because we grew up, got real and worked through our issues? No. We just found the right guys. We found men who love us even though we’re still cranky and neurotic, haven’t got our careers together, and sometimes talk too loudly, drink too much and swear at the television news. We have gray hairs and unfashionable clothes and bad attitudes. They love us, anyway.
What’s wrong with me? Plenty. But that was never the point.”
:)
Also, if it helps, I think you're very interesting! :)
👍
ReplyDelete